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a candid, no-bullshit argument about why all humans deserve to be eaten by sharks

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Why You Deserve to Be Eaten By Sharks

*Edited at 6:45pm to correct a few miscalculations.

I'm not volunteering to be eaten or anything (and sharks aren't really all that into eating people anyway), but I am being volunteering to be EATEN BY GUILT FOR WHAT MY SPECIES IS DOING.

Woah, maybe guilt is made of tiny sharks and they are getting their revenge.